Priorities

When asked the priorities of life, I think most Christians would put God first, family second and then any number of relationships third and beyond. These lists don’t usually include “me.” Why is that? Is it because we think prioritizing ourselves is selfish? Or maybe we think we are included in the “family” category? I don’t know about you, but I have really struggled with this.

Are we doing it wrong?

I get the feeling that there is this belief that caring for oneself is not, well, it’s not godly. As though taking time for yourself is taking time away from “more important things.” What could be more important than ensuring basic survival? I’m not a psychologist, but I do remember Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs from high school Psych 101. Taking care of our personal need for food, water, air, and health supersedes everything else. And by health, think trinity of physical wellness: getting enough sleep at night, eating healthy and exercising.

When Jesus was asked which command in the law is the greatest, “He said to him, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and most important command. The second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commands.’” Matthew 22:37-40 CSB

Quick question: if we are not loving ourselves, how are we going to love our neighbor? The assumption of this verse is that we are taking good care of ourselves; it sounds like the success of loving our neighbors hinges on properly loving ourselves.

Considering the rate of burnout in individuals within various service industries (restaurants, social workers, health care), I think it’s safe to say, caring for others without an equal or greater measure of caring for oneself, is detrimental to one’s health.

We call ourselves human “beings,” but our language and social norms reflects a life of human “doings.” I wonder what kind of conversations we would have if the focus of family life was placed on balancing fun activities with meaningful rest.

I get it. It’s hard to do “all the things” and still tend to oneself. But it sounds like the admonition from God’s Word is to do less of “all the things.” I’m not going to pretend I have it all figured out. At this point, I’m working on reprogramming my thinking to accede to "self-care is not selfish." Less guilt about what I could be doing and more peace about healthy boundaries for personal rest. It's this principle that inspired my tag line: Love others. Love yourself.

I suppose airline attendants in their pre-flight instructions say it best: please put on your own air mask before attending to small children and adults who require assistance.